When you can live forever, what do you live for?
by TwihardNerd
Summary: After Edward is changed he becomes wicked, but then he finally finds the one thing worth living for, will the Volturi let him live long enough to be with her? Full summary inside. B&E pairings...
1. Summary

**Full Summary : **

**On a camping trip with his two cousins, Michael and Matthew, Edward is changed by a vampire, Charlotte. Matthew is attacked by Charlotte and doesn't survive. Charlotte and Edward soon become friends. Edward strives to be good so he can be near his mother again, but when she dies he see's little reason in living, he exposes himself and is considered wicked amongst both humans and vampires. The Volturi set off to kill him but are unable to get close enough because Edward is able to hear their thoughts and escape. But when he see's the one thing worth living for, will she be able to over look his past? And even if she does, how will he be able to convince the Volturi that he is not truly wicked?**

**Inspired by the song 'No One Mourns The Wicked' from Wicked the Musical. **

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No one mourns the Wicked  
No one cries "They won't return!"  
No one lays a lily on their grave  
The good man scorns the Wicked!  
Through their lives, our children learn  
What we miss, when we misbehave:

And Goodness knows  
The Wicked's lives are lonely  
Goodness knows  
The Wicked die alone  
It just shows when you're Wicked  
You're left only  
On your own

Yes, Goodness knows  
The Wicked's lives are lonely  
Goodness knows  
The Wicked cry alone  
Nothing grows for the Wicked  
They reap only  
What they sow


	2. New

**I do not own anything...**

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I opened my eyes to a dark forest...at least I knew it was meant to be dark, even though I could see perfectly. I looked around, I could see everything, every leaf, every blade of grass, every line in the bark. It was amazing! I could hear noises too, all in perfect clarity.

I stood up, a strange thing that, one moment I was laying down, then instantly I was on my feet. I saw a bunch of freesia's and flew over to them, well at least it felt like I flew. I inspected the freesia's for a moment, then bent down to smell them, I noticed a dull ache in my throat. The flowers were beautiful and they looked so fragile, more so through these eyes. I reached out to touch one of the petals, but I accidentally crushed it between my fingers.

I jumped back a little, then turned in a full circle, gazing around at this tiny clearing before I took off at full pelt, racing through the forest. I laughed joyously as I ran, the miles disappearing behind me as I dashed through the trees. I changed directions a few times, to investigate new sights, smells or noises, but I was never still for very long.

I ran until the dawn broke, and the soft shades of twilight illuminate the forest. I sank to the ground and watched the light travel through the trees, touching everything in its path. I couldn't remember seeing anything so beautiful. Every memory up to the fire was fuzzy. I shuddered as I thought of the burning pain coursing through my body. I pushed further back into my mind, to the fuzzy memories. The last thing I remembered was the beautiful woman walking away.

I thought back to that scene in this very forest, but it felt like I was looking through a veil, even though it was the sharpest memory I had from before the fire.

I had been camping with my two cousins; Michael and Matthew. Matthew and I went to gather firewood when we saw her. She was standing to her back to us, her white-blond hair waving down her back, glinting silver in the moonlight. I heard Matthew's soft intake of breath as she turned around to face us; my own breath hitching in my throat. I knew he was thinking the same as I; wondering who this beautiful woman was?

He nudged me and whispered, 'She's mine Edward. You don't like blonde's!'

'I said I prefer brunettes, not that I don't like blonde's.' I whispered back.

She laughed from where she was standing, even though there was no way she could have heard that.

'Who are you?' Matthew called out to her, wary now.

She came closer, just a few meters away now.

'My name is Charlotte Grace Maxwell. Who are you?' Her voice was soft and musical.

'My name is Matthew Alexander Masen, and this is...'

'Edward Anthony Masen. Are you here alone?' I asked.

'Yes.' She answered brusquely.

I started to feel uneasy. I knew I shouldn't be afraid but I was. For the first time I looked away from her face, her clothes were dirty and her stance was somehow catlike. I could sense Matthew was scared as well, though he would never admit it.

She took a deep breath and then she was standing in front of me, she ran her frigid fingers across my cheek. Her cool breath fanned across my face and I inclined my head forward to smell her sweet scent.

'I travel alone, but I'm looking for a mate.' She explained, elaborating her answer.

I stared into her burgundy eyes and my heart was beating erratically.

'I do hope at least one of you survives.' She said before lowering her lips to my neck.

I was frozen in fear and when something sharp bit into my neck I screamed out.

'Run Matthew!' I gasped.

She dropped my to the floor as I writhed in pain. I heard his screams, followed by a gurgled choke. The pain increased every second as it slowly started to spread. She was standing over me then.

'I don't think I can control myself.' She confessed, 'I'll be back when this is over.'

'Stop, make it stop!' I begged her, but she was gone.

I screamed as my body was being engulfed by flames. I begged her to kill me, not even sure if she could hear my pained cries.

It was over now, so where was she? I was scared at the thought of her not coming back, I didn't want to be alone.

What happened with Michael? I knew Matthew was gone, I think she took his body, I hope she gave him a proper burial...

I ran back to the campsite, easily remembering where it was. But Michael was nowhere to be found.

I fell forward, feeling mentally exhausted. I was breathing heavily when I caught a delicious, painful scent. My muscles tightened automatically, my throat burnt horribly, there was a hollow yearning in my stomach and my mouth was watering.

I pursued the scent at once, and came upon a man, he was talking about going hunting. I thought it was weird that he was saying his plans aloud. But the closer I got the more maddening the thirst became, it was getting harder to think through the haze. I tackled him to the ground and sunk my teeth in before he could even think of screaming. Once the blood dried up I took a step back, I noticed his leg was bent in an unnatural way, had I done that?

The realisation of what I had just done slowly sunk in. I had killed a man, not some soldier in combat, but an innocent man. I felt the shock and horror in my head, rebelling against the sheer joy. I had a hunger for more but I was at loathe to kill anyone again.

I dragged his body back to his campsite, which was about 10 meters away. I tried to make it seem as if he had been attacked by an animal. It didn't seem too far from the truth, I guess that's what I was now. Once I was happy with the fabricated evidence I turned to leave, casting one last look at the hunters body. I remembered the feel of his delicious, hot blood flowing into my mouth. I saw the outside world before I realised I was running and skidded to a stop at the last minute as my mothers face flashed before my eyes.

I would not haunt them. Maybe I'd go back one day, if I could control my thirst. Even as I thought of this possibility I felt the hopeless despair, it was probably impossible, but only time will tell.


	3. Shiny

**I do not own anything...**

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That night I lay perfectly still next to the river, something so effortless, it was hard to believe I could have once found it uncomfortable. I found myself looking at the stars, and listening to all the sounds around me, imagining tunes in them that weren't there.

I heard a voice strangely familiar, 'Oh my he has changed!'

I sat upright and she asked, 'How are you?' Her voice just a few notes different from the one she had used just seconds ago.

'Better.' I shrugged.

Her eyes were remorseful, obviously realising what I was referring to. 'I'm sorry.' She came to sit down next to me.

I gave her a half smile and lay back down, while she sat, staring into the river.

'I wonder if he would want to come with me?' She asked.

'Hm?' I asked, confused.

'I...I didn't say anything.' Her voice was unsure.

'Oh.' I said. I wasn't interested enough to push her to explain. 'Do you plan to stay?'

'Here...or with you?' She asked.

'Both...I don't want to leave the forest.' I confessed.

'I don't plan to stay here for eternity.' She said matter-of-factly, 'But-'

'Wait! You will live for eternity?' I asked, surprised.

'We will live for eternity. Vampires never age...How old are you?'

'17'

'Hm, forever 17.' she mused.

'How old are you?'

'20'

'How long have you been alive?' I rephrased my question. I pulled myself up, resting on my elbow.

'I was born in 1850.' She answered, 'I don't remember the exact date, it wasn't important to me when I changed, and human memories fade...Why don't you want to leave the forest?'

'My family is out there.' I confessed, I felt like I could trust her and I wasn't sure why.

She turned her face away from me, 'That'll be fixed sooner or later.'

'What do you mean?' I asked, shocked.

'What? I didn't say anything!'

'Yes you did, you said; "That'll be fixed sooner or later." What did you mean by it?'

'I thought that, how did he know?'

Her face was turned towards me but I didn't see her lips move.

'Oh!' She gasped under-standing coloured her features, 'I've heard of this before! You can read my mind!'

My mouth fell open slightly and I stared at her in shock. She beamed at me and once I unscrambled my brain I asked.

'Others of our kind...' I couldn't use the word _vampire, _'They can read minds too?'

'Only some have an ability,' she answered, shaking her head in wonder, 'but everyone is different.'

'Why?' I whispered.

She shrugged, 'I knew someone who thought our abilities, or powers, were enhancements of our human abilities.'

Now that I knew what I was 'hearing' I pushed further into her mind, I could see a handsome blond man, smiling at her. His eyes were a warm, golden colour, extremely different from her blood red.

'Why do you travel alone?'

'Our kind usually travels alone, or in pairs, with very few exceptions. I've come across a few others, but apart from my first year I've never lived in a coven. It's hard for our kind to get along for a long time. There is one coven, bigger than the rest; the Volturi.'

'The Voturi?'

'They're like...Vampire royalty I guess you could say. 3 vampires, 5 if you include the wives, make up the coven. They recruit vampires with powers to guard them and do their dirty work.' Her eyes turned grave for a moment and she looked me in the eyes, 'Now Edward, there is one rule you must follow. Whether you follow it or not will determine whether you live or die.'

'What is it?'

'You cannot let humans know you exist. As soon as you do they will hunt you down, and kill you, the human who knows and any vampire associated with you.'

I felt a shiver run down my spine.

* * *

_Hah! I'll race you there! _Charlotte challenged, taking advantage of my distraction.

When I looked up I saw her white blond hair blowing out behind her as she streaked though the trees.

She had been with me for a week and I had already picked up on her competitive streak. I dashed after her, heading towards the edge of the cliff. I hadn't been up there in the day time yet...The forest was thin leading up there, but it was usually secluded, so I was completely comfortable there.

I could see the sun shining down between the trees and I took a few more steps, placing my self directly into the sunlight. I jumped at what happened next. I didn't know whether I found the sight beautiful or horrific. The sun danced on my skin, throwing rainbows off in all directions.

I felt the shock on my face as Charlotte caught up with me.

_I guess I should have warned him. _She thought as she looked at me.

'A little warning would have been nice.' I whispered, watching the sunlight reflect off both of us.


	4. Family

**I do not own anything...**

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'Edward, you don't honestly plain to stay here your whole existence. Do you?' Charlotte groaned.

We had both realised we would never be anything more than friends, and these past few weeks, Charlotte's thoughts had been bored.

I sighed, 'Have we not had this conversation before?'

'So you want to wait until your family is gone? Edward it _is _possible to resist. You don't have to kill every person you encounter.' I could find no trace of a lie in her thoughts, but I couldn't believer her.

'But how could I resist? It hurts so much!'

'The first year is always the hardest. You will learn to handle it eventually.'

'Will you help me? please..?'

She nodded, 'If it means we can get out of this forest, I'd do anything.'

'You could always leave without me.' I reminded her.

She shrugged, 'I like the company.'

* * *

I had been a vampire for about 18 months, I was getting better at my self control. I had fed two days ago, but luckily it was hunting season and more humans came into the forest...Which only meant more practise for me. We were laying by the river when the scent of human blood blew our way. I perked up immediately but I was able to suppress the maddening thirst.

_Come on. Are you ready? _Charlotte asked, taking my hand.

I nodded and sucked in a deep breath, letting the scent burnt down my throat. We started to run in their direction, slowing a few feet away from them. They had their backs turned to us but turned around when they heard our deliberately noisy footsteps. I heard their sharp intake of breath when they looked at us.

They were thinking about how beautiful we were, I blocked ou their thoughts so I wouldn't accidentally answer one of their thoughts.

'Good afternoon gentlemen.' I greeted, taking a short, shallow breath.

I tried to distract myself by inspecting their features. Both had short jet black hair. One had brown eyes and an angular jaw, and the other had grey eyes and a more rounded jaw, but other than that their features were very similar, they were probably brothers.

They both nodded, greeting us. The sound of their hearts was so appealing but somehow I managed to not attack them.

'Where are you headed?' Charlotte asked.

'We are planning to hunt up near the river.' The man with the grey eyes explained, waving a hand in that direction.

'We must be on our way,' The other one apologized, 'if we intend to make it back before dinner.'

He shifted his weight from food to food, his brown eyes flickering back and forth between our faces, I could smell the adrenaline in their blood and could hear their hearts pounding frantically.

We said our goodbyes and headed off.

AS soon as they were out of sight I started running.

_Edward, stop! _Charlotte yelled, grabbing my arm.

'What?' I asked.

'Where are you going?'

'To my family.' I smiled

'You can't leave like that, look at you Edward, your clothes are dirty, acceptable for the forest, but not for out there and do you really expect them to recognise you? You've changed so much, and your eyes!'

I stubbornly held my ground. 'I want to see them.' I growled.

Sighing and seeing that I wouldn't change my mind she let go of me.

'At least let me get you a change of clothes...and it wouldn't kill you to bathe first.'

* * *

I stood in the river and tried to scrub off the dirt. Charlotte had gone into town, getting me clothes, a towel and soap. once i was happy with my skin i ducked my head into the water, holding my breath. I scrubbed my hair with the soap, wondering what would happen if i took a breath.

when i was finally clean i dried myself and then got dressed. i followed Charlotte's scent to a small clearing. she stood when she saw me.

'Do you need me there?' she asked.

'Maybe, waiting in the wings.' I suggested.

She nodded and we started running. but soon we were in the view of humans so we were forced to slow to a walk.

i guided her to my old home and she waited behind one of the huge trees.

i took a deep breath and knocked on the door. i heard three beating hearts, two were coming closer to the door, even though i only heard one set of footsteps.

my mother pulled open the door, smiling politely. in her arms she held a baby girl, she was about 5 months old.

'hello.' I whispered.

'hello? can I help you?' she asked.

'Yes.' I paused as the baby girl whimpered, 'I, um...My name is Edward Anthony Masen.' I rushed through the words, hoping she would understand them. After a few minutes, she was sifting through the words in her head her eyes went wide with anger, 'Your my mother...'

She stood there glaring at me, her thought waring in her head. One side desperately wanting to believe me and trying to pick of my familiar features. The other side hating me, not wanting to believe what i was saying and thinking she was insane for even considering it.

Michael came up behind her and took the baby from her arms. I immediately saw the resemblance between the two, the baby had his green eyes exactly, where hair was blonde unlike his light brown, but it had a slight curl to it jsut like his did.

'Michael, is she yours?' I asked, absorbed by her innocent face. I reached out to touch her little hand, i barely brushed my finger ahainst her skin before he pulled her closer to him, 'She's beautiful, whats her name?'

_Mary Abigail. _'Who are you?' his voice was slightly bitter.

'Edward Anthony Masen.' I answered absently.

He stared at me incredulously for a few moments before he composed his features.

'Get out!' He demanded, pulling my mother out of the way and slamming the door shut.

'Michael, what if it is him? It has been over a year.' My mother questioned, her mind full of hope.

'His changed too much for just one year, and did you see his eyes? I'm sorry auntie, I want him back too, but that wasn't him.' Michael answered.

'He knew your name.' She pointed out.

'So do a lot of people, he must have asked someone.' Michael concluded.

'Please mother, it's me.' I called out, my voice breaking. I leaned my head against the door.

I heard them shifting around inside and then angry footsteps stormed to the door, I stood back as it swung open and Michael glared at me.

'What kind of sick joke are you trying to play?' he demanded.

'I just wanted to see you again. I miss my family.'

'Your not my cousin. What are you trying to get, my uncles inheritance?'

'His dead?' I gasped, as my head spun uncomfortably.

The information swirled in his head, my father had died from the Spanish Influenza, my mother had just barley survived. I shook my head, 'No I don't want the money. I just want to talk to my mother, please.'

'She's just beginning to deal with Edward's death. This is going to be a major set back.' He groaned, rubbing a hand against his temples.

'I'm not dead!'

'Your not Edward! If Edward were alive he would have come back before now!'

'I couldn't come back, I can't explain why, but it was impossible.'

Hearing his thoughts I knew it was impossible, so I decided to leave.

'Take care of her.' I demanded.

Then I turned around and walked at a fast human pace to Charlotte. I grabbed her arm and once we were out of sight I started running with her trailing behind.


	5. Great Loss

**I do not own anything...**

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It's been 3 years, and I have rarely ventured from my mothers house. Charlotte came and went as she pleased, hardly ever staying with me for more than a few weeks at a time.

Michael took care of my mother, he and his wife Amelia now lived with her. I had watched little Mary grow up and in these last 3 years I had felt a great deal of joy. But I felt no joy right now.

My mother had gotten sick a little over a month ago and was getting worse every day. The doctor's weren't sure what she had, they were powerless to help her.

It was a crisp spring day and Amelia had taken my mother out to sit on the porch. She had gone back inside after a while to cook dinner, but my mother didnt want to go inside just yet so she was alone.

Even from where I was, I could tell she was very weak. The sound of her heart beat wasnt as strong as it used to be. I knew she didn't have long left and I didn;t want to miss a chance to say goodbye to her. I made my way up the porch steps.

_Edward_. She thought in acknowledgement.

'Yes mother, it's me.' I murmured, kneeling down in front of her.

Her hand came up to rest on my face as a lone tear slide down her cheek. Her thoughts were chaotic and I knew if the end wasn't near she wouldn't have believed I was really here. I wiped her tear away.

'Dont be sad.' I pleaded.

Here eyes closed and her breathing slowed. She was thinking about how much she loved and missed me. After a few minutes they opened again, staring at me with confusion.

_Why did you ever leave me_? She thought.

'I needed to...' I answered softly, 'I wanted to come back, everyday I wanted to come back...But I couldn't.'

'Grandma! Grandma!' Mary called, smashing through the door. She stopped dead in her tracks when she was me.

'Hi Mary.' I crooned.

'Who are you?' She demanded.

I smiled at her, 'I'm-' I stopped, surely she would tell her father, 'Gabriel.'

'I'm not allowed to talk to strangers.' A crease was etched between her eyebrows.

'It's OK. I know your grandma.' I explained, placing my hand on top of my mothers.

Mary shook her head, making her blond curls bounce, 'I'm going to tell mummy.' With that she ran back inside.

Her thoughts were so innocent that I couldn't stay mad, but I knew I had to leave. I stood and hugged my mother very gently, I barely touched her skin. 'I love you.' I whispered, then I kissed her forehead.

I dashed past the tree, struggling to keep up the facade and I was in the forest before Amelia and Mary were at the front door.

They took my mother back inside then, as she told them about me. Her mind was so sure about it...So much for me trying to keep my visit from Michael.

* * *

Michael heard about my visit when he came home from work. He was immediately furious, as he was reminded of my visit 3 years ago. But Amelia was able to calm him down by telling him how my mother believed me and how happy she was...

After they had all gone to bed I lent against the side of the house, listening to the sound of my mothers struggling heart.

Sometime during the night it came to an irreversibly stop and I knew my existence would never be the same...

* * *

_Jane, don't let him get away!_ _As soon as you set eyes on him it him with an illusion of pain. _Felix ordered, they were four blocks away now.

I laughed out loud and got weird looks from people on the street.

I smiled evily at one lady close to me, she stared at me until my eyes met hers. She averted her gaze and hurried off, praying I would not follow her.

A man came out of the bank, sick thoughts rotated in his mind. I would not let him get away with his planned monstrocity.

I could have let the legal system deal with him, if it wasnt so flawed. The humans were deluded, thinking wealth and status equalled innocence. And besides, I needed the blood.

I grabbed him around the waist, and ran. I sunk my teeth into his neck in the next second and as soon as I had drunk the last drop of blood I dropped his body and pushed my legs harder. The humans screamed as the recognised who I was.

_His done it again. _Jane thoughts were drowning with childish frustration.

I laughed at the humans terrified thoughts around me. I made the decision long ago to only hunt criminals, I was able to hear their darkest secrets and I didn't like the thought of killing innocents...Scaring them on the other hand, well that was the most fun I'd had in so long.

A young blond girl was standing with her mother and two brothers. Her thoughts revolved around herself, thinking about how beautiful she was. I stopped infront of her and snapped my teeth inches from her face. Satisfied with the scream I got out of her I took off again. I headed towards the forest, if I could just get to the river I would be able to loose the Volturi.

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	6. The Meadow

**I do not own anything...**

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I caught the scent as I stepped out onto the beach and laughed a little as I ran to meet her.

'Charlotte!' I called out, excited beyond belief to see her again.

I skidded to a stop just in front of her and threw my arms around her. She didn't hug me back so I placed my hands on her shoulders and pushed her back to look at her face.

I had been to excited to notice before, but now that I listened her thoughts were a mixture of worry and anger. I gave her a sheepish smile.

'WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?' Charlotte exploded, 'THEY WILL KILL YOU!'

'Calm down, I just lost them' I scoffed, 'I always loose them and all it usually takes is a little swim in the river.' I laughed, but it died out when she glared at me.

'You might not be so lucky next time, next time they might kill you!'

'Yes, your right, they might kill me. But tell me Charlotte, what have I got to live for?' I whispered.

We were both silent as we stared at each other, I could read the hurt on her face just as well as I could in her mind. _Do I mean nothing to you?_

'You mean a lot to me.'

'Not enough to keep you here.'

'No, it's not.'

She nodded, trying uselessly to hide the hurt she felt.

* * *

I stopped counting the years, time had little meaning anymore. I hadn't seen Charlotte since that day on the beach, I continued to expose myself to humans, they were getting more and more worried every year, and the Volturi, well sometimes I questioned their capability.

I pulled myself out of the river bed, and laid down to let the bright sun dry me off. I had finally lost the Volturi, using my best trick. You think they would learn my scent was lost in water.

It didn't take long but once I was dry I made my way aimlessly around the forest. I had no need to hunt, I had drunk so much I now felt bloated. There were too many criminal gangs in that last town...But then again these days the line between trouble maker and criminal seemed a little blurred to me.

Eventually I stumbled across a small clearing, a meadow that seemed to be a perfect circle. It was a beautiful, majestic place.

Sitting right in the middle was a young child, maybe 15 or 16 years old. She was laying on her back listening to music, humming along; she was slightly off tune. She long brown hair was spread out around her, a few strands had blown onto her face, across her eyes. Funny, there was no wind now. Her skin was extremely pale and it looked fragile, almost transparent. She was an average girl, but for one thing; the place her thoughts should be coming from there was nothing. Not even a whisper of a sound.

I was instantly fascinated by her, I could hear her music from where I was. It had been so long since I had really listened to music of any kind, so I sat there watching her as the music played. The lyrics seeming perfect for this...What ever this was.

She was completely relaxed, seeming so peaceful, so confident in her safety here. My muscles seemed to relax to and I felt more peaceful than I ever remembered being.

Eventually, yet all too soon the rain started up again and she stood quickly and hiked out of the forest. I longed to follow her but held my ground. I couldn't leave this meadow. So I lay down where the girl had been, the rain washed almost all of her scent away, there was only enough to burn my throat slightly.

I laid there all night watching the stars, something I had done almost every night for my whole existence. But this night was different, I could not get the girl out of my head. Every time I closed my eyes I would see her face.

I watched as the sun rose, and then was blocked out by the clouds. The rain that had stopped during the night picked up again.

With every passing hour I seemed to grow more and more tense. Finally, finally I heard soft steps hiking through the forest. I made my way back into the trees and my muscles relaxed immediately as soon as I saw the girl break out from the trees.

She pulled her hood tighter around her head and laid a blanket out. She lay down on her stomach and listened to music again. I noticed she seemed more tense today, but soon her muscles relaxed, her breathing slowed and I thought she had fallen asleep, but her hand moved to push hair back out of her face.

I tried once again to decode her thoughts but got nothing, not even a tiny slit to enter her mind through.

Sooner than yesterday she got up and hiked out of the forest. I had a feeling she would be back tomorrow. But that didn't stop the panic from setting in, she was almost like a drug to me, I _needed _to see her again.


	7. Bloodlust

**I do not own anything...**

* * *

The next day the girl didn't show up. I waited impatiently all day but when the sun began to set I knew she would not come. My breath came out in shallow gasps. Anything could have happened to her, humans were fragile, she was more so somehow.

I scanned through the towns folk's minds in a desperate attempt to see what had happened to her. I came to a halt in a mind I could barely read, I could just make out the tones of the words he was thinking, but I could just see her face...He was...her father. I couldn't make out her name, or if he had seen her today, so it didn't help me. I remembered his 'voice', just in case, and started searching again.

I saw her face again in a girls mind, I could access this one much easier, but there was nothing much of interest. Just shallow thoughts of herself mainly, how good she had looked when they had gone shopping together. Good, at least she had been OK up to a few hours ago. But where was she now?

I stopped breathing all together, all my attention focused on finding her. Eventually I found another girls mind, she was looking at the girl right now. I breathed a sigh of relief and watched through the girls mind.

_'Bye Bella.' I said, slamming her truck's door shut. _

_I made my way up to the door and opened it, turning to wave goodbye to Bella before I entered the house. _

So her name was Bella, I smiled a little at this knowledge. The name seemed so fitting.

Ah, just knowing she was safe seemed to heal me, cure me of a disease I never knew I had until I found her.

* * *

I realised with a small amount of shock that I hadn't fed in 3 weeks. I just couldn't bring myself to kill humans when they were so like this beautiful, silent, fragile girl. I had been hiding out in the forest ever since I found her. Either seeing her or checking up on her every chance I could.

She was here today, dancing across the meadow, clearly enjoying the sunlight. I smiled a happy smile, amused by her happiness.

She tripped and fell softly onto her hands and knees.

'Shoot!' she muttered, her skin hadn't broken for which I was grateful, I don't know how much longer I could go without feeding.

Her cheeks flushed the most delicious colour I had ever seen and she glanced around automatically to make sure no one had witnessed her fall. Probably sensing, rightly, that she was being watched.

I longed to go out and speak to her, at least see if she was OK, but the sun was out. While I moved to quickly for cameras to catch my face, even if they froze the screen capture, the pixels were blurred by the speed of my flight, she would still recognise the red haired, sparkling demon that had haunted the world since before she was born.

Surely she watched the news, read the papers, listened to the tales parents told their children about me. Surely she would be terrified if I were to suddenly come out of the shadows.

Already on the ground she rolled onto her back and closed her eyes, letting the sunlight wash over her skin. A small smile playing on her lips. I wished I were able to go speak to her, and hold her hand, I wondered if her skin was softer than other humans, it looked more delicate than the rest.

Just the a light breeze rustled through the trees, swaying the branches, dancing through the grass, playing with her mahogany hair before blowing over my face.

Her scent hit me and at that moment I was transformed into the monster I had been just 3 weeks ago. I would make it quick and painless, well as much as possible. It was the least I owed this girl, the least I could give her...Growling deep in my chest I took a step forward, bracing for the kill...


	8. Vampires

**I do not own anything...and if you've watched the movie, I may kill you(jokes), cause I wanna see it :(...I'm not even allowed on many twilight sites until it comes out down here in Australia cause of my sister...I'm almost as angry as Edward. lol...So review to make my day :D **

* * *

...Growling deep in my chest I took a step forward, bracing for the kill...

I was about to pounce when someone screamed out in their mind. _NO! Please don't! I love her too! _

I was frozen in place for a hundredth of a second before the scent hit me again. There was no image violent, or delicious enough, to describe the way her blood smelt. I took another step forward, but before I could take off a tiny vampire flung herself onto my back, clamping her hands over my eyes. I growled and tried to shake her off, but then two male vampires also grabbed hold of me.

'Alice, get off him.' One ordered, tensely.

The two male vampires dragged me off, I was struggling wildly and the girl was just feet away...so close, yet too far...

I roared in anger, 'LET ME GO!' I snapped my teeth just inches from one of their arms, it was just out of reach.

Of course they didn't listen to me, they were all thinking the same thing; get me as far away from the girl as possible. When the girl was out of sight and I could no longer smell her scent I looked around at the vampires.

The first one I noticed was the blond male, I tensed as I noticed the battle scars marked over all exposed flesh. I shuddered away from him, instinctively fearing him. He looked at me and I felt a wave of calm wash over me. I read his thoughts and he was worrying about the girl, Alice as he'd called her. He didn't want any harm to come to her, and I was dangerous on so many levels.

The second one, was a brawny male with dark, curly hair. He seemed to think of this as a game, it was all fun for him. Although he was a little worried about what someone named Rosalie would think when he brought me home.

The girl vampire, Alice. Was extremely tiny, with spiky, black hair. Her mind was flashing through different scenarios. One in particular I longed for, just as much as I wished it would never come true.

'Don't let him get away.' She ordered, when the slide show had finished...

I noticed one feature they all shared in common, their golden eyes. The only other vampire I'd seen with gold eyes was Charlotte's Carlisle, and only then in her memories. So where was this blond-haired vampire?

I wanted to talk to him, I would make him give me what I wanted..What I needed..

* * *

_Idiot, his a complete utter fool! _'EMMETT! Why did you bring him _here?_ If the Volturi find out!' The blond girl, Rosalie demanded furiously.

'We are well-' Jasper began before I cut him off.

'Pfft! The Volturi? They've tried to find me for at least 70 years now, with absolutely no luck. What makes you think they will find me now?' I laughed.

Rosalie shot me a death glare, profanities flowing through her mind.

'He nearly killed Bella!' Alice cried, 'I had to do something.'

'Bella's _human _Alice, remember.' Rosalie's thoughts were revolted by the thought of Alice liking Bella, a mere human, more than her.

I stifled another laugh, 'Jealousy is an ugly colour Rosalie.'

She growled in response.

'Wait. How do you know her name?' Emmett asked, his eye brows pulling together in confusion.

'I can read your minds,' I shrugged, 'Where's Carlisle?'

My face flashed in pixies head again, although this time I was different. This 'vision', apparently Alice could see the future, told me exactly what I needed to know. My chest filled with hope, Carlisle would help me get what I wanted.


	9. Carlisle

**I do not own anything...The Twilight Convention was awesome...and only 3 more days until the movie :D ..sorry I haven't updated in a while, just sort of feel like I'm posting for nothing cause I don't know if anyone actually likes it...hint hint...??**

* * *

20 minutes after pixie got off the phone with him Carlisle walked through the door, his thoughts were worried. A woman with long caramel hair and a motherly face followed him. She was also worried, her thoughts were terrified for her family, her _children. _

'Carlisle, what are we going to do?' Rosalie asked.

He was about to answer, but I cut him off. Alice hadn't told him my plans. 'Carlisle?' He turned to face me, and his thoughts were filled with sorrow, he didn't _want _to kill me, but he knew it might have to end up that way. I shuddered at the thought.

'I want to ask you a favour, and while I would understand if you said no...I really want you to say yes.' I took a deep breath, trying to brace myself for his answer, 'I have a friend, Charlotte, she told me once, that somehow you and your family are able to sustain yourself on the blood of animals. I want you to teach me how.' All of them were staring at me, except for Alice, who had seen it coming and Rosalie, who was shooting daggers at me. My eyes dropped to the floor, terrified of rejection.

His thoughts were shocked at first, as were everyone else's, except for Alice. Finally after searching into the future she turned to Carlisle and announced, 'His serious about this Carlisle.'

'But we can't put our family at risk, Alice you know the future can change as soon as he decides he wants to play with the Volturi again. Lets just hand him over and forget about it.' Jasper practically begged.

I growled and Alice shook her head, 'No his decided, it's crystal clear.'

'What does the future hold Alice?' Carlisle asked.

'It's raging between Jasper and Edward fighting, and Edward leaving or we end up helping him out and he becomes one of us...But so does Bella.' She answered, 'Jasper, stop.'

Jasper was becoming more and more decided on fighting me, that future appeared in her mind.

'NO!' I screamed, 'No please, I can't let that happen...Please you have to help me!' I stared at Alice, hoping she would make them see.

'What is he talking about?' Emmett asked, speaking up for the first time since Carlisle got home.

Alice was on my side now, 'Jasper please don't fight him, I know your worried about the Volturi, but we can deal with that. If you fight him, he will escape and he will run into Bella...He wont be able to resist. I love her too, and I don't want to loose her.'

* * *

They all went into the dining room to discuss my fate. Even though their voices were extremely low I could still hear their thoughts... I watched the conversation through Esme's eyes.

'We can't kill him.' Carlisle cautioned.

'WHY NOT! He poses a threat to our peace Carlisle!' Rosalie exploded.

Alice shook her head, 'He will change...he _has _changed. His in love.'

'So he tried to kill her?' Rosalie scoffed.

'It was just the blood lust...I mean you saw how black his eyes were...And I have seen him watch her a few times, and his never tried to kill her before.' Alice explained.

I blocked out their thoughts then and seeing as I was left alone, thanks to pixies fortune telling, I decided I was allowed to walk around the house until they were done. I headed straight for the grand piano I had seen when they dragged me in here, wondering if I could still play...It had been so long. Thoughts of the girl filled my mind as I let my fingers dance across the keys.

They heard me of course and were all standing behind me in the next few seconds.

_So that's why Alice wanted the piano. _Esme thought.

My hands faltered a tiny bit when I read Esme's thoughts, so I blocked them out again and thought only of Bella, this was her song.

When it was finished I turned around, smiling slightly. I looked at Carlisle.

'So what's my fate?' I asked.

'We will help you...' Carlisle said.

'...and we will all die because of it.' Rosalie growled, and Emmett put his arms around her, trying to calm her down.

'Rosalie it will be fine.' Alice piked in.

'Doesn't mean I like it.' Rosalie whined and I poked my tongue out at her.

I felt relieved that they were going to help me, although I had Alice's visions it was still good to have confirmation from Carlisle.

Jasper was a little shocked that I felt relief...So he could feel emotions? I wonder if any of the others have special 'talents'.


	10. Esme

**I do not own anything...**

* * *

I wrinkled my nose at the smell and Carlisle laughed.

'It does take some getting used to,' he said apologetically.

It was my first hunting trip, well for animals anyways. Carlisle had been the only one to come along, they thought the less distractions would be the best.

I put on a brave smile and stood up straight. I followed the most...well a smell that didn't repulse me. Carlisle followed close behind.

I came upon a large bear, I didn't give him time to react, pouncing onto his back. I sunk my teeth into his neck. As soon as I tasted the blood I pulled away, it tasted so different from humans. No, I had to do this for Bella, gritting my teeth I bent my head down and drank his blood. When I was done I ran to Carlisle's side. I wiped my hand over my mouth and smiled at him.

_Very good. _

I smiled wider, enjoying his praise.

He patted my back and asked, 'Are you ready to go home, or are you still thirsty?'

I wrinkled my nose at the thought of drinking more animals blood, 'I think I've had enough for one day.'

* * *

A week later Jasper, Alice, Rosalie and Emmett all returned to school, I waited anxiously all day knowing Alice planned to keep a close eye on Bella during lunch, intending to make this easier for me if I could at least see her in the others minds. Finally they all pulled up into the driveway and I flew out onto the porch.

'Hi Edward!' Alice greeted cheerfully. Immediately her mind was flooded with memories of the girl today, I saw Bella laughing with her friends in a cafeteria. When the memories came to an end I whispered, 'Thank you.'

She just nodded and followed the rest inside. They all went off in different directions, Carlisle was changing for work, and the others made their way into their rooms. I wandered around for a minute before settling at the piano, letting my fingers dance across the keys. A new composition filled the air.

I heard Esme sigh as she came to sit at the base of the stairs to listen to my music. She closed her eyes and rested her head against the newel post. I had come to love Esme as a mother, and Carlisle as a father. They were both so caring and compassionate, a perfect pair. This song was of my love, but for once not for Bella, it was the love I now felt for my new...family. That's what they called each other, it was strange though, how quickly some of them seemed to accept me.

When I was done, I turned to look at Esme, smiling timidly.

'That was beautiful.' Esme was smiling widely at me, she looked as though she were crying, if such a thing was possible. _I wanted my son to be like you. _

'You had a son?' I questioned curiously, after the question came out I wished it hadn't, I didn't want to upset her, 'Uh, sorry. You don't need to answer that.'

'No it's OK Edward. But yes, when I was human I had a little boy. The poor thing was too weak, he died of a lung infection a few days after birth...That's how Carlisle found me you know...Well we had met years before, when I broke my leg.' She laughed a little then, and I saw the memories play in her head, she never truely got over him, and he never got over her, 'When my baby died, I threw myself off a cliff. I was so far gone they took me straight into the morgue. Carlisle found me then, and couldn't let me go. He changed me into a vampire, and I've been with him ever since.'

I frowned a little, sad that someone so loving would have to go through any type of pain. I made my way over to sit next to her and whispered.

'You're like a mother to me.' I whispered, and a feeling of joy washed over her mind and she wrapped her arms around me. 'Thank you, for taking me in that is...'

_His so innocent,_ _how did he end up with-_

'How did I end up with the Volturi after me?' I finished her thought.

She dropped her eyes, 'I'm sorry I should have.'

I held up my hand, as the roles were reversed, 'No it's OK. I guess you have a right to ask...I never wanted my life to be like this, I never wanted to be a _monster. _A vampire named Charlotte changed me, she was looking for a mate, but we were never anything more than friends...For the first few years of my life I hid away in a forest, I fed off humans who entered the forest, but it felt wrong. Charlotte taught me how to restrain myself a little, and when I finally could find a human without killing them I went back to my house to find my mother. I just wanted her to take me in again, but I was different, and as much as she wanted to believe I was really there she couldn't.

'I stayed close to her house for 3 years, and watched as my cousin looked after her, and as his little daughter grew up. I longed for the life he had, to be able to look after my mother, to have a wife and a child. But Charlotte told me the latter was impossible.' I stopped to take a deep breath, 'My mother began to get very weak, I had to say goodbye one last time, and this time she actually believed it was me. But, that night she uh, passed away. But since I found my mother again, I couldn't bring myself to feed on innocents. I figured if I could read their thoughts I knew all their secrets, I was allowed to pick of the evil ones, the ones that were only slightly more human than I was...I became careless, and eventually exposed myself...and well you know the rest.'

_You love her? _Esme thought.

I knew she was referring to Bella, and I nodded. 'It's wrong, but I can't deny it.'

_You deserve to be happy. _

I shook my head, 'I'm a monster Esme, she deserves so much more.'

'Look at you Edward. You were only doing what is in your nature...and now that you've found us you are changing your ways...for her. You are so willing to endure so much pain for her. Most human men couldn't do what you are doing.'

'That's because human men don't need to, it's easier for them, because they _should _be with her. They can give her what she deserves.' Even as I thought of Bella with another man, knowing it was best for her, I was consumed with rage. I wanted to be the one she said yes to, no matter how wrong it was.

Esme patted my cheek, _It will all work out Edward. You deserve so much more than you know. _


	11. School

**I do not own anything...**

Time passed and one by one the Cullen's seemed to accept me into the family. Carlisle, Esme and Alice were the first to accept me. Emmett was next as soon as he started seeing me more as a wrestling match rather than a enemy. And as Alice grew to love me more and more, Jasper warmed up to me. Last was Rosalie, when she found out I shared her love for mechanics, but that seemed to be the only time we ever really worked in sync.

* * *

Throughout the two years I had lived with the Cullen's they performed numerous tests to see if I was able to handle human blood well enough. I had taken trips into town, to see how well I was around regular humans, the story was that the Cullen's had adopted yet another troubled teen. They had even gone so far as to get Carlisle to bring home human blood from the hospital, and I am proud to say I resisited everyone of their tests...so far. Their latest test I was too scared to even think about.

_Edward watch. _Alice thought. A vision of me being able to handle my thirst played through her mind.

'I vision means nothing when it can change at any moment!' I growled, exasperated.

I turned to Carlisle and he held his hands up, he did not know what to do. _You've done so well before._

'Please, I can't Carlisle.' I begged.

I had been so focused on Carlisle and Alice that I hadn't noticed Emmett and Jasper come up behind me. They locked me in their grip, each grabbed an arm and wrapping their arms arond my waist. The pulled me backwards, out the door amd started running at vampire speed. I struggled violently, knowing I would not win, as my family followed close behind.

When they finally made it to the meadow I fell forward onto my knees, but they held onto me tightly. I broke down, I couldn't bare to hurt her. I held my breath, refusing to give into the comfort of being able to smell things around me. We all waited in silence. About an hour passed before I heard her loud, decrepit truck pull up. Emmett and Jasper's arms tightened around me, and Carlisle placed his hands on my shoulder, but we had to wait another hour before she finally made it into the meadow.

When she finally did come into view the wind wisped through her hair and I gasped at her beauty, forgetting my no-breathing plan. Her scent burnt down my throat. I slammed my mouth shut and held my breath. It was just as maddening as the first time her scent had hit me, her scent clouded up my mind, trying to make me forget how much I...loved her. The cloud seemed to clear up a little as I thought of how much I cared for her and I relaxed.

_Try to get used to the smell. _Carlisle suggested.

I took a deep breath, the pain was still excruciating and I gulped the excess flow of venom in my mouth in an attempt to put out the flames. As excruciating as the pain was, I was able to think somewhat clearer. There was still the very seductive thought of drinking her blood. But I knew I couldn't do it, I shuddered as I thought of what it would do to me if I were to kill her. If I held her white, lifeless body in my arms as my eyes gleamed a sickening red.

I was able to last the whole two hours that she stayed in the meadow and Alice had said she planned to go to the meadow every day for the next week.

* * *

_It'll be OK Edward. _Alice thought.

I could see the future in her head, but it did little to reasure me, I knew how easily the future could change.

_Your decided Edward, you _will _do the right thing. _

I tried to smile, but I think I just grimaced. Carlisle came up behind me.

_I have faith in you, son. _He thought.

Esme hugged me, her thought a motherly mixture of worry and pride.

'One of us will be with, or near him at all times.' Alice promised.

'Except for when it counts.' I muttered.

Alice shot me a sympathetic look. _I'll watch you constantly and I'll be really close by. Jazz and I wont go to class that hour. _

I nodded, hoping it would be OK. Then Emmett, Jasper and Rosalie came out...Rosalie thought this whole thing was stupid, she didn't understand how could I be so infatuated with a _human. _Jasper was, once again, worrying about Alice and the Volturi.

Emmett took one look at my face and thought _Damn, kids a mess! _

We piled into the less ostintatious car, a silver Volvo S60 R that Alice had brought, after having a vision that I would like it. I could hardly sit still, which annoyed Rosalie who was sitting next to me. But the ride to school was quick, and then I was surrounded by humans. Their scent burnt down my throat, but I was able to handle it.

'Edward, come on.' Alice called.

I was frozen with worry, if I blew my cover not only would I loose my chance at getting to know Bella, but I would also put my family at risk. Slowly I got out of the car and looked around, children were all getting out of their cars and heading towards the buildings, hurrying to get out of the rain. I followed Alice to the office, where a middle aged woman with red hair sat beind a desk.

'Good morning, Ms. Cope.' Alice sang.

'Good morning Alice, oh and this much be Edward!' Ms. Cope exclaimed.

She took one look at her face and her heart kicked into overdrive. My worries about her health were extinguished when I heard her thoughts.

_Too young, too young. Dr. Cullen sure knows how to pick them though! _

She handed me my time table.

'Thank you.' I murmured.

_Oh poor thing, his so nervous. _She thought.

'Cool, your first class is with me!' Alice squealed, faking surprise, her voice dripping with excitement.

I smiled, trying to seem excited as she dragged me by the hand to a small building. When she opened the door everyones heads turned.

'Sorry I'm late sir. I had to show Edward to the office.' Alice explained, dancing into the room.

I followed her slowly, my eyes skimming across he faces and picking out their voices. They were...excited about me coming here. I fought the urge to roll my eyes and turned toward the teacher.

'Hello, Edward. I'm Mr. Mason.' He greeted.

I smiled a little and said 'Hello.' Then I handed him my slip.

Alice made her way over to her seat. _Come sit with me. _

I was about to follow her when Mr. Mason suggested, 'Why don't you introduce yourself?'

I groaned silently, sure that would go down well.

_'Hello I'm Edward Anthony Masen. But most of you will know me as that freaky, sparkling vampire who goes on murderous rampages every now and again. _

Yeah, then they would come at me with pitchforks, or start running and screaming.

_Just say; I'm Edward Cullen. _Alice guided.

'Er, I'm Edward Cullen.'

_I'm 17 years old, and I used to live in Chicago._

'I'm 17 years old, and before Carlisle and Esme adopted me I lived in Chicago.' I did little to hide my discomfort.

Mr. Mason nodded encouragingly at me and I made my way over to Alice, sinking into the chair beside her.

The rest of the day went by extremely slow, but then it was lunch time, and I felt like it had all gone too fast. I need more time, I can't do this.

Jasper put his hand on my shoulder, and I calmed instantly.

_Stop worrying, you did extremely well today. _He thought.

'With just regular humans.' I reminded him, speaking to low for the humans to hear.

_The forest? _He reminded me.

'That was outside, with all of you as a safety net.' I muttered.

I saw the future flash in Alice's head...I would be able to handle it. I breathed a small sigh of relief, trying to convince myself I was strong enough.

I follow my family into the long cafeteria line and looked for the girl, but she hadn't gotten to the cafeteria yet. Alice put some food on a tray and handed it to me, along with some money. I paid for the food, and followed them to their table. I wasn't interested in their conversation, my eyes lingered on the door, waiting for her to come through them.

'Edward...Edward?' Emmett called, waving his hand infront of my face.

'What?' I asked, reluctantly looking away from the door.

'Loosen up!' He demanded.

I relaxed a little, not willing to give them a reason to keep me from the girl. As I turned my head back towards the door I saw her walk in. I instinctively went to stand, and Emmett's hand locked around my wrist.

'Where do you think your going?' Emmett asked, then he spotted her and laughed. 'You'll be near her soon.'

I sat back down and sulked.

_Stop sulking Edward, everyone is looking at you. _Rosalie said vainly.

I stuck my tongue out at her, and turned towards Bella as I listened in on their conversation.

'Wow. Look at the new Cullen.' The girl named Jessica squealed.

'What's his name again?' Mike asked, trying to sound like he didn't care I was here.

'Edward!' _You know the guy we've been talking about for ages! -Jessica again._

'I saw him at the shops a few weeks ago.' Lauren bragged.

Angela started up a muted conversation with Bella.

'Edward is looking over here.' She giggled. Her thoughts were the only ones not _obsessed _with me.

Bella's eyes flickered up to my face, and she met my gaze for a split second, before she looked back and Angela, blushing.

'Stop looking at him.' She ordered.

Angela smiled again, but looked away.

'I wonder what his like...' Jessica thought out loud.

'Does it matter? His probably a freak like the rest of them.' Mike answered.

A silence fell over the table then, I saw Angela and Bella share an amused glance before someone kicked me under the table.

_Stop staring. _Rosalie again.

I sighed and tore my gaze away from Bella.


	12. Bella

**I do not own anything...The story will start to follow the book a little at this point, so from where he meets her to the Tyler/Bella/Van incident, well its all pretty much the same, except Edwards a lot nicer to her and yeah...I just can't be bothered righting the whole, 'They fall in love but don't tell each other yet' thing...**

I was the first student to make it to class, eager to finally be able to talk to Bella. Mr. Banner was already getting ready for class when I walked in.

He looked up, and started before he greeted me. 'Oh...Hello, Edward?'

'Hello Mr...' I took a quick glance at my timetable, pretending I didn't remember his name. 'Banner.' I smiled apologetically.

'Hm...I believe the only spare seat is third on the right, next to Bella.'

I tried to cover up my laugh with a cough when I heard his thoughts about Bella...Thankfully he was fooled. I smiled again as I went to sit down. I took a deep breath as other students began to enter the room, and held it in. I was terrified to sit a whole hour with Bella's scent burning its way down my throat. Just the thought of her scent had my throat on fire and I had to take another breath to remind myself she wasn't in the room yet.

But it wasn't long before she showed up, she walked in laughing at something Mike had said. She glanced around the room and blushed the most delicious colour when she spotted me and smiled timidly as she approached the table. I smiled back, but my body tensed with fear. How could I do this...? Would I be able to find the strength...?

I felt a fake calm wash over me and I heard Alice and Jasper outside, taking a seat under the window. I would have to thank them later.

_Your welcome. _Alice thought as my thanks played through her head.

Bella sat down then, and I turned to greet her.

'Hello...uh, Bella? I'm Edward.'

Her blush deepend, and I wished more than anything that I could hear her thoughts, 'Hi Edward.'

Mr. Banner called for attention then, and I growled silently. The hour past too quickly for my liking, I kept casting glances at Bella, and loving being so close to her.

_Edward you have one more minute before he dismisses you. _Alice informed me.

I frowned, but then decided I should probably see if I could handle the thirst now. I slowly let out the breath I had been holding in, then even slower I pulled one in through my barely parted lips. The scent that hit me was astonishingly painful, and I looked at her out of the corner of my eye. The monster warred inside my head, the inquenchable thirst engulfed my throat. I swallowed the excess venom but it did nothing.

_Edward be careful! The futures getting blurry, please...please! _Alice begged.

Sensing my gaze she turned to stare at me, her eyes curious, she tried her best to smile...I guessed the look on my face was not a friendly one. My lips parted slightly further before I forced them into a friendly smile...Looking at her I knew it would kill me if I lost control.

'Do you know what his talking about?' I whispered to her, hoping to distract her.

'His saying we can go now.' She whispered back, a smile tugging at her lips.

I turned my attention back to the teacher at the front of the class and sure enough he was dismissing us. She was laughing as she packed up her books.

'Err...I meant before that...I zoned out towards the end cause I had no idea what he was talking about.' I defended myself.

'Hmm...Maybe I could explain it to you tomorrow before Biology?' She offered.

'Yeah that sounds great, so I'll meet you here, what 10 minutes before class?'

'Sure, that should be plenty of time...'

* * *

3 weeks later-In the hospital after Bella nearly gets hit by Tylers van 

I walked quickly, feeling guilty. Perhaps I was too good a liar, if I could fool Carlisle.

I stopped short when I got to the end of the hallway, Alice was already in the room talking to Bella. I couldn't hear their voices, but I could smell Alice's scent, and hear her thoughts.

_'Bella there are things about us that I can't fully explain here. But I promise I will tell you soon...' Alice said in a hushed whisper._

I growled deep in my chest, but luckily no one was around to hear it. What did Alice think she was doing?! I rushed off towards Bella's room.

_Edward, it's best this way, trust me. She wont freak, she wont tell anybody._

'No, you can't see it until she makes the decision to Alice, remember?' I said, so softly and so fast no human would be able to hear, as I walked into the room.

I shot Bella a warm smile, hoping she wouldn't see the underlying tension. 'How are you feeling?'

_I know my vision better than you do Edward...Sometimes I wonder if I know Bella better than you. _I shot Alice a warning glance. I could hear Carlisle coming up the hallway.

Bella shrugged, 'I'm OK I guess...' Her eyes narrowed as she thought of something that seemed to bother her. 'How come your not in here?' her tone sounded like she was accusing me of something.

I laughed, 'It's all to do with who you know.'

Carlisle came into the room then, 'Ah, Bella. How are you feeling?'

'I'm fine.' She answered automatically.

'Hmm...' he pressed his fingers to her forehead, and I envied the way he felt so sure about touching her, knowing he would never, could never hurt her, 'Edward said you hit your head, does it feel tender at all?'

'No, it's-' But her body language gave away her lie, she flinched as Carlisle pressed his fingers to the small bruise forming over her right eyebrow. 'OK, well maybe it hurts a little.' She admitted.

Carlisle laughed as he jotted down a few things on the chart, 'Well everything looks fine, but if you feel any dizziness or any trouble with your eyesight at all, come back. Your father is in the waiting room, you can go home now.'

'Can't I go back to school?' She questioned.

'No, you should probably take it easy for today.' Carlisle instructed.

I watched as Carlisle escorted her out, _I'll be back in a minute... _He promised.

As soon as the door closed I turned to glare at Alice, 'What was that about?' I demanded.

'It's the best way Edward, I've seen it happen, I've seen it work this way. Edward this is your chance to be happy...It's what we all want.' I rolled my eyes, 'OK maybe Jasper and Rosalie want it to happen in a different way, and Emmett may think your crazy, but Edward you deserve to be happy. We all believe that.'


	13. The Vision

**I do not own anything...Sorry if theres mistakes, it's 4:36am and I'm really tired..and sorry it's taken me so long to update, my so called 'holidays' have been busier than I expected.**

'Alice, please don't-' I begged.

'It'll be OK. Edward when are you going to start trusting me?' Alice sighed, walking towards the door.

Bella was pulling up at our house now, and I swear I was about to go mad. Our family had all gone out, save for Carlisle who was up in his study...and well Alice and I. I have no idea how she managed to convince the rest of the family that this was a good plan, but that didn't matter, I just had to stop her from doing it. Alice pulled open the door, but I pushed it closed again, just barely avoiding smashing it right through the frame.

'You don't need to tell her.' I pleaded.

'Uh, yes I do.' She replied in a matter-of-fact voice.

'Alice, this is the best way to get her out of here. Any human would be afraid of vampires, she'll go running and screaming as soon as-' Alice held up her hand to cut me off.

'She'll knock in 3-2-1.' There was a knock on the door, just as Alice pushed my arm off and pulled it open again. 'Hi Bella.'

'Uhm, hi...' Bella greeted nervously, glancing between Alice and I.

I tried to at least make myself seem relaxed, but I couldn't quite pull it off.

'Come in, we'll go into the lounge...' Alice suggested, turning on her heel and walking off. 'Would you like a drink or anything?'

'No, no I'm fine...'

Nodding Alice gestured towards the couch and Bella sat hesitantly, trying to take in her surroundings. We sat in silence for a few minutes before I finally huffed in anger, it was low so Alice was probably the only one who heard it.

'So Bella, you obviously know somethings up...Well uh...We're-' Alice began.

'Alice.' I warned, Bella flinched at the venom in my voice.

'Edward she has a right to know.'

'It's better that she doesn't!' I replied, hard and fast, Bella didn't hear my reply.

_She'll find out eventually. Better sooner than later._

In a small voice Bella asked, 'Edward, I...I don't really care _what _you are. I guess I would like to know, but essentually it doesn't exactly matter.'

I rubbed a hand across my face, and then looked at them both. Bella was looking down at her hands, a slight flush on her cheeks, while Alice smiled exulantly. 'What does that mean?' I demanded.

'It means I don't care...I, well I like being with you...' Her blush deepend as I watched in disbelief.

'You don't _care?_' I asked, what did she think I was, maybe some criminal...Well it was partly true.

'No.' Her voice was very soft.

I stared at her in shock for a few moments, listening to her heart pick up speed. Good, hopefully she was starting to realise the danger she was in.

'Bella, my family and I are vampires.' Alice explained, her voice calm.

Bella looked up at her, it was clear to see she half wanted to believe it was true, but then also thought it was a joke. A few minutes passed, and I was just about to crack when Bella shook her head and said once again.

'I don't care...'

That sent me over the edge. 'HOW CAN WE SIT HERE AND TELL YOU WERE VAMPIRES AND YOU...UGH! DON'T YOU HAVE ANY KIND OF SELF PRESERVATION? CAN'T YOU FOR ONCE AT LEAST THINK ABOUT YOUR SAFETY?'

She shrank back into the couch, 'You-You wont hurt me.'

I scoffed, 'Remember the sparkling demon? I'm sure you've seen it all over the news, parents told you stories...I'm the sparkling demon, I've killed people. I'm the worlds most dangerous predator.'

'I'm still alive aren't I?'

I could hear Carlisle coming down the stairs now, as my disbelief turned into utter outrage.

'Bella I have _never _wanted a human so much in my life.' I spat.

Carlisle put a hand on my shoulder, _Edward please. _

I dropped my head, took a deep breath, wincing as her scent burnt down my throat.

I listened as Alice spoke to Bella, 'Bella, we have trained ourselves to survive off animals. It sustains us enough so that we can be around humans, that's how Edward was able to keep from, uhh...'

Bella nodded, knowing where Alice was going. 'Edward, I...I trust you...'

'Don't.'

'You saved my life.'

'Only because I was afraid.'

'Of?' She pressed.

'I was just terrified...' I whispered, 'I...I like being around you too.'

A smile lit up her face, 'Good, I'm glad.'

'I'm no good for you Bella.' I warned.

We spent the rest of the day telling Bella everything. I tried a few times to convince her to leave, to go back to Pheonix, or atleast ask me to go, give me a _reason _to leave. But my attempts were all in vain. I would have to talk to Carlisle a bit later about her mental state of mind...

3 Months Later

Bella, Emmett and I were in the lounge room. Emmett was telling Bella about how he came to be a vampire as I watched the cooking channel. I pulled a face, repulsed by the look of the food.

'...You had your hands full with me at first, didn't you?' Emmett asked, nudging my shoulder, sending Bella and I rocking.

I snorted without looking away from the T.V.

'So you see, Hell's not so bad if you get to keep an angel with you,' I could hear the mischief in both Emmett's voice and thoughts. 'When he ever gets around to accepting the inevitable, you'll do fine.'

I flung my fist out into Emmett's chest, he went flying off the couch onto the floor. Keeping my eyes focused on the T.V.

'Edward!' Bella scolded, she sounded horrified.

'Don't worry about it, Bella.' Emmett said picking himself up off the floor, 'I know where to find him. You'll have to put her down sometime.' I almost laughed at the mock threat, instead I let a snarl rip through my teeth.

'Boys!' Esme's reproving voice called sharply down the stairs.

Emmett laughed again as we called out, 'Sorry mum.'

Alice walked in then, followed closely by Jasper. They swung their intertwined hands, and Alice twirled under his arm before pulling him down to sit on the floor with her.

'So Bella-' Alice's bubbly voice cut off with a short gasp, her eyes went wide and her hand flew up to her mouth.

The vision played through my mind as it played through hers.

_Aro had Bella, his disgusting arms wrapped around her waist. His red eyes glinting evilly. He bent his head down, she screamed out in pain and blood dripped down her neck. _

I jumped to my feet as soon as the vision was finished and pushed Bella behind my back, trying to protect her.

'How do we stop this?' I demanded.

Alice's eyes were still wide with horror as she shook her head, 'I...I don't know.'


	14. Plans

**I do not own anything...**

'What is it Alice?' Jasper asked, he could feel the worry and horror coming from both of us.

Bella was clinging tightly to my shirt.

'The Volturi.' Alice answered tightly through her teeth, before she sprang to her feet and dashed out of the door. 'Carlisle?' Her voice was more terrified that I had ever heard it before.

Immediately Carlisle appeared by our sides, and when he saw our terrified expressions he gestured towards the dining room, 'Esme, Rosalie?' he called out to them.

I still hadn't let go of Bella, so I sat her down next to me and pulled her chair closer to mine. Carlisle came to sit next to me and Alice was next to Bella, she was trying to search ahead, to see if we could stop this. Emmett was too keyed up and annoyed to sit down, he leant against the wall opposite me, trying to be patient. Jasper sat next to Alice and worked on trying to get us all calmed down, but he stopped as soon as I gave him a look of warning.

Esme came in next and automatically sat next to Carlisle, Rosalie went to stand next to Emmett.

There was a short lived silence before Emmett begged, '_Please_ tell me what's going on.'

Alice took a deep breath, 'The Volturi are coming, I saw them...with Bella.'

A hiss slipped through my lips. I felt Bella tense beside me.

_Did he kill her?_

I nodded, answering Carlisle's unspoken question.

'What's a Volturi, and who's Aro?' Bella asked, her voice shook with fear.

'Aro is one of the three leaders of the Volturi, who are like Vampire royalty. They keep vampires in line, from exposing what we truely are.' I explained.

'Or they try to.' Rosalie muttered bitterly.

'Why do they want me?' Bella asked in a fragile voice.

I was too ashamed to answer her, seeing that Carlisle broke in, 'The Volturi want to keep our world a secret from himans, but Edward broke the rules, so they came after him. He was able to escape then because he could hear their thoughts, but now it seems as though they are going to use you to get to him.'

Bella shuddered next to me and I turend to Carlisle, 'What are my options?'

'We could try to fight them.' Emmett offered.

'We would all die in the process!' Rosalie cried.

I shook my head, 'No. I can't put you in the kind of danger.'

'Your family now Edward, and we do what ever we can to protect our family.' Carlisle said, but I could hear the worry in his thoughts.

'When are they going to come Alice?' Jasper asked.

'Um...' Alice closed her eyes as she searched for a clearer details, 'Aro plans to send Felix, Demetri, Alec and Jane. They don't know they will find Bella just yet, but somehow they might run into her...and take her back to Aro...But he wants them here by Thursday.' We all exchanged worried glances, today was already Tuesday.

* * *

When Bella finally fell asleep I took out my phone and called Alice's number, knowing I could trust her to watch Bella.

She picked up before the first ring, 'I'll be right there.' I heard a click and then a dial tone.

I wasn't sure if I could come back for her I held her tight and pressed my lips to her hair.

'I love you, Bella.' I whispered, just as Alice came through the window.

'Keep her safe.'

Alice nodded, her face fell into a pout, 'Edward, you know he would never.'

'I have to ask Alice...It's better for the whole family.'

_It won't work. _

I clung to the slight insecurity in her thoughts as I crept through the window, and as soon as I hit the ground I was running.


	15. Goodbye

**I do not own anything...**

Carlisle was waiting for me outside of the house.

'Alice said you needed to talk?' Carlisle said questioningly.

Nodding I explained, 'I think I have a solution to our problem...' I took a deep breath and prayed he would give me what I want, 'The Volturi want me dead, if we give them what they want they will leave all of you alone.'

Carlisle didn't even have to think it over, _No! If I do that, I may as well be handing you over to them._

'If you did that, if they knew you had helped me, they would kill you too. Please, Carlisle this will keep you safe!' I begged.

He shook his head, _But at what price?_ He looked at me as though I was worth saving.

'I have to pay the price for my actions...actions you, your family, and Bella had anything to do with.'

Carlisle put his hand on my shoulder, _Son, don't make me choose. I cannot kill you._

My shoulders sagged, _son..._There was no way I could ever deserve to be Carlisle son. I pressed my fingertips against my temples, very aware of Esme, Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie watching us from the window.

'What other choice to we have Carlisle? I've put you all in danger, and I'm sorry for that, but you have to do what you should have done a long time ago, please Carlisle, please...'

Esme flew down to my side, wrapping her arms around me. _No! _

I hugged her back, but said nothing. After a few moments Rosalie whispered, 'I have a plan.'

She grabbed Emmett's arm, and they ran down the stairs, with Jasper close behind them.

'The Volturi want you dead right?..So what if we only say your gone?' Rosalie proposed.

I shook my head, annoyed that she had wasted our time, 'Aro can read minds.'

'But Aro isn't coming.' She contradicted. 'If we can make you disappear for a while, then we can say we killed you. Aro has always been fond of you Carlisle, he'd believe you.'

'But Rose his scent is everywhere.' Emmett worried.

'Yes. But the Volturi also know of Carlisle's compassion.' Jasper piqued in, turning to Carlisle he said, 'Just say Edward told us he wanted to be good, wanted to learn to be a vegetarian...and you just couldn't bring yourself to kill him, but then he started killing humans again, and Alice saw him exposing himself, and our family. Regretfully, we had no choice but to kill him.'

'That's diabolical!' Emmett proclaimed.

Carlisle thought this over, 'It's our best choice.'

_But will you come home? _Esme asked.

'As soon as it's safe.' I promised, I turned to Carlisle, 'What about Bella?'

'We will keep her safe.' Carlisle promised.

'I...I have to leave her behind.' Somehow during all of this I had imagined me taking her with me.

They all nodded. 'It will cause the least suspicion.' Jasper stated.

'You should leave as soon as possible Edward. So you can get as far away as possible, and your scent has time to wash out.' Carlisle explained.

I could hear their worried thoughts, I would need to go alone and they weren't sure I would be able to handle it. I ran back inside and grabbed a pen and paper.

_Bella,  
I'm sorry I've put you in this mess. I have to go, but I'll come back as soon as it's over.  
Alice will explain everything. Please, help them keep you safe. I love you._

_Edward._

I went back outside where everyone was talking.

'I've got to say goodbye.' I announced, then without waiting for an answer I took off towards Bella's house.

As soon as her house came into view I sprang onto the wall, hooking my arm in her window. I slipped inside, Alice was still sitting in the rocking chair, a sad, knowing smile playing on her lips. I walked over to Bella's bed, sitting on the edge. I stroked her cheek and she stirred, only half waking.

'Goodbye Bella.' I kissed her softly and began to stand up.

She grabbed hold of my top, 'Don't go.' she begged.

'I have to, but I'll come back, promise.' I hugged her as tight as I could manage, 'I love you.'

Her body relaxed, 'I love you too.' She whispered sleepily.

I knew she would be angry at me for not letting her say goodbye properly, but it would be too hard, I wouldn't be able to leave her if she was begging me to stay...and I would see her again, even if the Volturi didn't believe our story, I would come back for her.

_It will be ok Edward. _

I nodded tensly as I stood up, 'Please keep her safe.'

I saw the vision in her head, but it did little to assure me right now. I hugged her for a moment, then she pulled away.

_Go now, there will be a storm later on, it will wash away your scent. _

I cast one last look at Bella, then placed my note on the bed beside her, before jumping out the window.

_I'll miss you Edward, no matter how short a time it takes._

'I'll miss you too Alice.' I said softly, knowing she could hear me.


	16. Promise Love

**I own nothing...Sorry it has taken me so long to update this story, I've been so caught up in another one I'm writing that I can't concentrate on anything else. **

Once I made it up to my hotel room I sunk down in the chair and became immobile once more, utterly aware of the ache in my chest; heartache they called it, I never believed it could hurt so much, I thought it was some sort of human weakness. I couldn't help but wonder, even though he had objected it, would Carlisle really care if anything happened to me? Was it me he cared about, or his soul? Would anyone really think I mattered that much? I knew they thought I was worth it now, but once I was gone, once there was no coming back for me, would they miss me? I hoped that at least Bella would care enough to miss me when I was gone.

I sat there for the entire day contemplating, planning strategies, thinking of what if's. I jumped when the phone rang, quickly pulled it out and checked the I.D; it was Carlisle.

'Hello?'

'Edward? Edward how could you leave me?' Bella's voice was frantic on the other end.

'I'm sorry, I had to go, did you get my note?'

'Yes, but you should have taken me with you.' There was a stubborn edge to her voice.

'No, Bella it would have been too dangerous. _I'm _too dangerous for you with the rest of my family near, if we were alone, and under these circumstances. No, I couldn't.' Even though she couldn't see me I shook my head to emphasize my point.

'I don't believe that and I miss you.'

'I miss you too, but I promise I _will _come home to you as soon as everything is OK.'

'Alice told me what you did and what you wanted Carlisle to do.' Bella's voice was softer, sadder now, 'why did you do it Edward?'

'Haven't we talked about this before Bella?' I asked, not really wanting to be reminded of that dark time before her.

'Yes, but I never understood it, what was going through your head to make you want to do something like that.'

Sighing I began, 'Before you Bella, I had nothing to live for. Everyone I knew as a human was gone, or didn't want to know me anymore. I didn't care what happened to me and I don't know I guess I got a thrill out of it. But as soon as I met you everything fell into place and I found everything I needed, everything I ever wanted, or could ever want. Just please Bella, listen to Carlisle, he will keep you safe.'

'I will I promise.' she vowed.

'...and Bella?'

'Yes?'

'Please take care of my heart, I've left it with you.'


End file.
